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BASEketball, a review by Rich

BASEketball



From the creators of the Naked Gun films, and starring the creators of the South Park series, comes a spoof of sports and business and anything else that can draw a hearty laugh. Two best friends (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) create "baseketball"--a sport that combines baseball and basketball--and when their silly idea catches on, they are thrust in the spotlight and become media darlings, much to their chagrin.

Dreadful film, who in their right mind could find anything amusing about this rubbish??
Infantile and crude, there are all misses and no hits, and I cannot find one good thing to mention about this pathetic attempt at a comedy.
I am surprised anyone who worked on this film is not shamed into disowning it.




(From Riches Random Reviews on March 20th, 2009)

Alien: Resurrection, a review by Jon

Alien: Resurrection
2 out of 5



200 years have passed since Ripley made her noble sacrifice. But now she’s back, albeit a clone.

And that’s all this film amounts too at its best: a clone of something so much better. We’re off to a bad start with the cover: ”From the director of Amelie”… just who the hell are they trying to market this film to? Good grief.

I must have masochistic tendencies. I had no need to see this again, yet here I am. I felt a need to complete the rant properly, I suppose! I mean it’s hardly fair to take the piss out of something I saw once when it first came out, is it?

Ok, so… this film is a fucking diabolical mess. A skid mark right across the franchise. Whereas ALL three previous films demonstrate a graceful elegance and a terrible beauty, this is just plain ugly, full of empty gimmicks. All the blame can be rested squarely on Jeunet’s shoulders. Seeing it now I realise what a fantastic theme they had, but he screwed it up.

Still, it isn’t as bad as I remember. I know! I’m as surprised as you! The cast is fantastic and the characters they play have great potential. After the interchangeable bald heads of Alien 3 it’s a pleasure to have such distinct people with something worthwhile to say. Most of the dialogue is cool, as you’d expect from a script by Joss Whedon. His vision is in here somewhere.

The look of the film is wonderful. The colours continue from Alien 3 and the sound design is identical. The creature effects are the best of the series. Sigourney Weaver is once again the strong anchor for the film. After all it is her story. But good though she is, should it have been about her still?

I’m not sure about them bringing Ripley back. It was always going to have a hint of cheese about it, but on the DVD they include Whedon’s first draft. If they had followed this exactly, it would have worked. It is simply brilliant. The opening shot as described evokes the previous films, as do enigmatically powerful dream sequences as the cloned Ripley comes alive. With the look of the film down, great characters played by brilliant actors, why did it go so wrong?

Jeunet didn’t follow the script. That simple wonderful opening shot Whedon describes is replaced by an odd scene with a guard squashing a insect, loading it into a straw and blowing it against a window. Pardon? What the hell is that for?

Well as I’ve just been discussing with Jimmy the nature of comedy as a genre and I think that is exactly what Jeunet made. A whimsical comic satire of the original lean horror and worse, he’s bastardising a perfect setup to do so. From what I’ve read of the script so far, he changes very little. It’s all how it was filmed. We watch Ripley, rather than follow her which is vitally important for the audience. Whedon's script gets inside her head and Weaver acts it very well, but Jeunet obviously doesn't give a damn. The film is amused by her and the other characters, rather than being empathic, so they become two-dimensional.

The marvellous creature designs are undermined by his complete inability to understand them as well. Their clean efficiency is lost as he’s more interested in showing them having personalities. As Achim mentioned earlier, the underwater sequence is great, but it was obviously supposed to be a match for the trap scene in Aliens, where the drones work out how to get above. But Jeunet’s sledgehammer approach to tension means it’s just one more noisy gag.

All this said, it could have still just about worked. It’s a fun movie, as good as the Alien v Predators, and there’s something to be valued in Ripley’s character. But then Jeunet goes and makes sure the shark has been well and truly jumped.

The pregnant Alien Queen is the single worst image I have ever seen in a mainstream film. No exaggeration. That he should de-claw one of Stan Winston’s greatest creations is a pure insult. Injury is added by having her killed by the… thing, the… what the hell is that fucking thing? A baby? Argh! It’s just… I can barely type, I’m that bloody angry! You people made me watch this again! You did it!

In another film (Invasion of the Marsh-Mallow Man?) that stupid looking dough-boy creature would be a decent villain. The effects guys gave it such incredible emotion. One minute it’s snarling, the next whimpering with its big puppy dog eyes and ickle nose… isn’t it cute?

Strangely, in that element, I can still see Whedon’s mark. His script developed the human/alien mix and I think a better director with a deadly serious intention like the others, could have made it work. But no. What a complete cock-up.

I don’t think the Scary Movie/Date Movie/Epic Movie guys have stolen anything from Alien yet. There’s no need. They couldn’t screw it up anymore than Jeunet. Thank crap I only got this off Ebay for a winning bid of 55p!

(From October Marathon: Horror! on October 31st, 2008)

Birthday Marathon, a review by addicted2dvd

All in the Family: Season 2
The Elevator Story
The Bunkers are celebrating Edith's birthday at an Italian restaurant in the city when Archie discovers that Edith failed to mail out a payment to the insurance company. This leads him to run across the street to drop it off. However, on his way he gets stuck in an elevator along with a pregnant Puerto Rican and her husband, an aging hippie, and an erudite black businessman.

My Thoughts:
This is a good classic sitcom.  One that definitely pushes the limits of the time... let alone something you would see in today's politically correct times. It was really funny to see Archie Bunker stuck in an elevator with some of the people he hates the most. Let alone Edith going heavy on the wine at dinner waiting for Archie to get back.



(From Birthday Marathon on May 30th, 2009)