If Footmen Tires You, What Will Horses Do ?, a review by Jimmy
MOVIE / DVD INFO:
Title: If Footmen Tires You, What Will Horses Do ? (1971)
Genre: Religious Propaganda
Director: Ron Ormond (
Mesa of Lost Women)
Rating: Unrated
Length: 0h55
Video: Full Frame
Audio: English
Subtitles: No Subtitles
Stars:Are you serious???
Plot:Based on the preachings of Reverend Estus W. Pirkle, this film warns what will happen to America if the citizens do not give up their depraved ways and turn to God and Jesus for salvation.
My Thoughts:
After my last review I was feeling all dirty inside of me. All this talking about sex made me feel like an unchristian sinner and I was feeling so bad and guilty that I have to call my church because I was afraid to loose my soul to Satan. But the pastor after a look at my collection told me to watch one of the christian movie in it, so I've to choose between the movies : If Footmen Tires You, What Will Horses Do ? Or The Burning Hell. Finally I've choose the first one, but before the pastor ask me to prayed with him (he was really shocked by my collection) what we have made for 3 hours. After that I was ready to save my sinner soul.
What can I say about this movie : the acting is bad, the story is stupid, the fact are all wrong, ... But this movie is funnier than the three Naked Gun that I've watch this week.
Like I've said this movie is a propaganda movie : it was made by one of those born again church somewhere in the south of the United States. This film talk about the evil communist and what will happen when they will invade the USA, because this country had rejected god. The Americans sin too much : they watch tv, they wear dress too short, they don't go to church everyday, they don't read the book of god and, the worst, they dance. This is not my word, the reverend Pirkle tell that multiple time in his sermon.
The Russians (the one with the ridiculous accent) conquer the United States in less than one hour and not with a lot of technological weapons, but with horses and sabers (everyone know that it had work perfectly for the Polish in the Second World War). Rapidly they have killed the President and a lot of Governors, we don't actually see any of that but the cheapest newscast of all time announce it.
After we will see how the communist will persecute the christians. They will be kill in mass (in fact the same footage used more than five times), they will kidnap every children to teach them that god doesn't exist (this scene is so funny : the Russian teacher will make the children pray god for candies but god didn't answer, so after that they pray Fidel and they receive a lot of candies), the Russian invade the home and rape the woman (evidently they are drunk), they pierced the child skull with a bamboo stick from one ear to another (do you know that this make you throw up a lot?) because they have heard the word of god. I forgot the reverend tell us that all those facts are true and that all of this is documented since the same thing had happen in Russia, in China, in Korea and in Cuba. At the end the reverend tell us that we have to accept god in our live to evit this fate, since god will choose to save another country that sin less than the United States (he named the Brazil and the Indonesia).
At less than one hour this film is really too short and can I say that I'm shocked that this movie and others like that were shown at some church at a certain time. Evidently this film is not available comercially on dvd, but they are two way to get it : write a letter to the church of the reverend Pirkle and ask (good luck) or buy it from one of the multiple grey zone movie sellers (the way I've choose).
Rating as a serious movie:
Rating as a bad movie:
I've a question for our American member : Does any of you actually have seen a film like this in a church?
(From The little known movie review depot on September 7th, 2008)
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May 06, 2024, 12:14:47 PM
