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Member's Reviews

The Magnificent Seven (2016), a review by Antares


The Magnificent Seven (2016) 40/100 - How do you take a screenplay written by Akira Kurosawa, which many consider to be the story for one of the greatest films of all time, and spawned a re-working in Hollywood, that is nestled in many people's top ten westerns of all time, and make it so vacuous, cartoonish, predictable & mind-numbingly boring? I was about 20 minutes into this film and a dilemma was developing in my mind, do I continue, or just cut my losses now, before I waste another 2 hours plus on a bad film? I made the wrong choice. This was, basically, a comic book superhero film, set in the 19th century west. Absolutely no character development, the building of the team, takes less than 15 minutes of screen time. What made the two classic films of the past so great, was the initial indoctrination of each member of the seven. What made each man good enough to be included in this small team, in such an adventure. Here, for example, a Comanche warrior named Red Harvest, states that "The elders have said I'm on a different path""Cut!, that's good enough, mail the check to my agent."

If you want to watch a film that takes the theme of robber baron - vs - homesteaders, then just find Kevin Costner's Open Range. It's a longer, more detailed film, that manages to fly by much faster than this train wreck.

Teal = Masterpiece
Dark Green = Classic or someday will be
Lime Green = A good, entertaining film
Orange = Average
Red = Cinemuck
Brown = The color of crap, which this film is


(From Antares' Short Summations on August 15th, 2017)

Member's Reviews

Zatoichi at Large, a review by Antares


Zatoichi at Large (1972) 60/100 - For all intensive purposes, this film is a dud. Little nibbles of the usual Zatoichi tropes, spliced together in a ho-hum, I've already seen all this, screenplay. As the film is playing out, I'm blurting out, He's the final duel, She's the forsaken female and The cowardly yakuza boss who'll wilt like a dead flower when Ichi finally gets around to killing him. The only saving grace for this entry is that it has some of the best camera work I've seen in this series. Kazuo Mori must have really been impressed with Sergio Leone's cinematography, because he uses a plethora of in your face close ups throughout the film. If you're a completest, then it's worth a watch. But if you're not, you can definitely skip this one. It's not the worst film in the series, but it really just a waste of time and energy.

Teal = Masterpiece
Dark Green = Classic or someday will be
Lime Green = A good, entertaining film
Orange = Average
Red = Cinemuck
Brown = The color of crap, which this film is


(From Antares' Short Summations on November 20th, 2014)

Member's TV Reviews

Tom's Buffy and Angel Marathon, a review by Tom


03. Witch (1997-03-17)
Writer: Joss Whedon (Created By), Dana Reston (Writer)
Director: Stephen Cragg
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy Summers), Nicholas Brendon (Xander Harris), Alyson Hannigan (Willow Rosenberg), Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia Chase), Anthony Stewart Head (Giles), Kristine Sutherland (Joyce Summers), Elizabeth Anne Allen (Amy), Robin Riker (Catherine), Jim Doughan (Mr. Pole), Nicole Prescott (Lishanne), Amanda Wilmshurst (Senior Cheerleader), William Monaghan (Dr. Gregory)

This belongs to my least favorite episodes of the first season. Though I liked the resolution to the story.
Also I would have liked to see Amy more often. Sadly she came not back often and when she did, she was there to be a bad influence on Willow in later seasons.


04. Teacher's Pet (1997-03-24)
Writer: Joss Whedon (Created By), David Greenwalt (Writer)
Director: Bruce Seth Green
Cast: Sarah Michelle Gellar (Buffy Summers), Nicholas Brendon (Xander Harris), Alyson Hannigan (Willow Rosenberg), Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia Chase), Anthony Stewart Head (Giles), David Boreanaz (Angel), Ken Lerner (Principal Flutie), Musetta Vander (Miss Natalie French), Jackson Price (Blaine), Jean Speegle Howard (Real Miss French), William Monaghan (Dr. Gregory), Jack Knight (Homeless Guy), Michael Ross Verona (Teacher), Karim Oliver (Bud #1)

Probably my least favorite episode of all. Stupid story with no real coherence. No funny jokes which could save the episode.

How did Buffy come to the conclusion that Ms. French is an insect? "Oh, I saw her turning her head 180 degrees. She must be an insect!", "I looked a little into insect books. Of what I have read, she must be a Praying Mantis! Those clothes she's wearing is the final proof for this!"
How convenient that there is a strange vampire around who can sense Ms. French from outside her house. But why did he run up to her the first time around and only when she looked at him, he went running?

The final shot they're hinting that a She-Mantis could be back for another time. Boy am I glad that they never followed up on this!

(From Tom's Buffy and Angel Marathon on November 23rd, 2008)